nothing relaxes me more than music

this week is my first full working week, and i already feel like...i've been through alot.

i can't describe...i don't feel sad miserable, but there were times i feel trapped miserable. in my head, i just want to fuck care all the work and go home. but i know i can never do that. i have to finish them...and the feeling is, anxiety and stress for the whole day. from the moment i sit down till i leave office. even after leaving office, the strain mentally and physically leaves with me.

this is the beginning, and i know it's gonna be tough. and i know somehow after time passes, i will be able to cope and get used to them. not to say i've already thought of quitting. but to make this long term, i need to devise some sort of plans for my life. i don't want to have no control over my life because of work. i want to know that there are many other meaningful things to do when i've no work, it's suddenly very impt to spend quality time on whatever im doing. and i want to ensure that i'm going to be fit and healthy even if im going to have to work more than 12 hrs a day.

the money that i earn will all go into compensating for the state of mind and body i had to endure during work. it's a vicious cycle. i have never experienced working like this before. sometimes i feel like im the only one experiencing it. i had to remind myself to breathe normally at times, drink more water. going through the whole day with tension is like...having exams for 12 hrs everyday. i need to go spas, sign up work out packages, go pubbing at night, anything to help me release tension in me. else i'll turn into a haggard old lady in no time to come. sad sad.

reminder to self:
unwind. relax. have fun. stay fit and healthy.

happy mooncake festival, i love mooncakesssss.