Me.heart.U

Friday, January 11, 2008

sandflies are cute..i love them.pls infest them on me.

what if one day you realised your whole life is planned out for u?
things that happened you thought u had control over with.
God was just manipulating us to walk the path he set for us,
cause he knows what we will do.
it won't be a forced path walked, it is a path He knows we will walk.
making it seem as if we can control our decisions and destiny, but actually how we control it, has already been foreseen and it will stay that way, whether you know it or not.
the saying, "destiny is in our hands, but fate is not". how much truth is there?
maybe destiny IS fate and fate IS destiny.
we're fated to have that destiny.
haha.

today, i thought i was the saddest person on earth.
all original plans were cancelled just the night before, all because of sandflies.
it's ha-ha funny if you know it n read it, but not to me.
it's infuriating, as usual.
so i made alternative plans.
i had to find my way to pay exam fees by myself,
only to find out eve suddenly cancelled on me, cause she's suddenly sick.
so all i had to do, was the action of dropping a cheque into the cheque box, and i can head for home alr.
my friendly neighbour was all helpful in making sure i cld find my way there.
i called dee, no ans.
i called sp, she said too last min dun feel like coming out.
i msged kor, knowing there's no hope for company from him, but just to tell him im sorry if i was ever not there for him, cause i felt the need for his company now n i cant get any.
sf said once she'll fly to me if i call her for help, but today, she's not in spore. how to fly?
i ended up walking ard fareast on my own, determined not to make it a wasted trip.
i was actually qt happy.
shopping is a therepy, it actually makes all else be forgotten temporarily.
so i didnt turn out as sad as i thought my day will be, although it is qt sad.
then my 'brother' called me for lunch.
out of the blue, and impromptu.

i know friends won't be with u all the time.
and it's understandable.
but do you know how it feels when just one of them is there when you need company?
im not kiddin when i alwiz tell my kor,
"friends are forever,
boys are whatever."
a childish statement but it's just damn right for me.
if im given certain privileges in life, and you're not,
don't make yourself sound pitiful as if i have to be the same as you, if not im in the wrong for never able to understand how it's like to be you.
one fine day tell me, im never this and im never that, without the slightest complaints beforehand.
cant even talk things through. what more is there to say?
as if when you do such things, ive to realise all along ive let you down and im supposed to be terribly sorry about it.
give it as an outburst as a reason/excuse.
blame me for being intolerable to nonsense and bullshit then.

goodbye.

updated at 5:26 PM.