Me.heart.U

Thursday, October 11, 2007

bitchy issues.

i thank anyone and everyone who's concerned about me.
for those closest to me, you would already know the most accurate and first hand information about me. if not you could have easily ask me personally.
for those not so yet still wants to know how are things progressing in my life, i know you guys are just concerned.
i know i haven't been very open with my relationship. i don't even mention it here. and there are many instances when i sound very unhappy. it's true. i haven't been happy for a long time. and i can honestly attribute it to my breakup. there are ups and downs in life. i never believe in having a blissful rls anymore. even the most blissful couple u see on the surface, will have many problems btw them.

who is to judge which one of the two is the one throwing the tantrums? who is to judge if your fren's another half is good enough for u? and is treating u as u shld be treated? and who is to judge how bad a person your another half is without really knowing that person?

before anyone starts saying, "of course i don't have the rights to pass comments about my fren's boyfriend, cause she knows him best." please think twice and ask yourself and other people who are as 'concerned' if you are guilty of such seemingly harmless comments amongst yourselves. i know my own friends never once think badly of me, what's more to spread something ugly. and i also know i cannot stop what other people says. cause those 'other people' are people that do not matter to me. all i want to do in this post, is to let my own friends know the truth. because there are so many people that will want to know, but just don't want to talk about it with me. some people just likes to talk and gossip among themselves. concerned? i think it's a thin line between that and gossiping for the latest news. maybe it's retribution i've been complaining im too bored since school started. now im not anymore.

for a start, i've already filtered out my blog readers. so it's only those few that will read what im going to say. and 9 out of 10 probably don't even know about what happened. but now u will.

seemed like a piece of news have been slowly spreading among some people since school started. that is when people first saw me and james together in school. im puzzled. if you are close to me, you would have known about it before school starts. so why did the gossip start only when school started? obviously they are people that are out of my entire business. none of my side of the friends ever heard of it, but i heard of it from his side of the friends, who so coincidentally are cj girls. no surprise why they talk about it then. one girl told him she heard i left aidan for him. and this is the tip of the iceberg.

other rumors include: james is a flirt who msges other girls while in a lecture with me. james uses this brilliant technique to get me after i broke up. i will not go into details. bottomline: the more people hear of it, the more bewildered and 'concern' they get for me. they don't like him. seriously, not many people has a good impression of him. i know that from day 1. even my own friends don't like him. but they always says to me, "of course you know him best and i can only tell you my judgement. but it's ur choice and life, u happy good enough." it sounds so understanding and encouraging. now, im just sick of hearing it already. cause i know for one friend that will tell me this, another 9 will only be thinking bad about him and not telling me that exact sentence. either cause they're not my friend, or they don't want to get involve with my business.

i only need to ask 1 simple question, can anyone find a friend who can safely claims that he or she knows him for a long time and know him well enough to come up to me and say, "james really is not a trustworthy guy. he's not as what you think he is."? fyi, even when somebody can accuse him of those rumors, noone can give a foolhardy evidence of what exactly are the wrongdoings that condemn him to such a reputation. what are the exact words that he uses to flirt? who can tell me what 'technique' a guy uses to chase a girl will be considered despicable and what is sincere and innocent? they are all just based on people's opinions.

after further digging around, although i regret that i cannot find out who is/are the culprits of spreading such things, i do got a few names here and there. i will not accuse of anyone without evidences and with biasness. the plain truth is, james wants to be friendly with that girl and friend cause he knew them very earlier on. and he thought they could be friends that he can keep in contact with. because honestly i know what he's driving at, he's not the type of guy that can hang around a group with girls and be 'brothers/sisters' with them. he's not like those guys that are comfortable with sharing conversations with girls now and then. all he wanted, was to have more friends in sim. guys, girls. and when he told HER that he's with someone now but don't want to disclose the name to be fair to me(cause we were really unstable, i would have done that), and that GIRL saw us tgt in lect then msged and asked him if it's me, and he replied ya, is that considered flirting with another girl with the gf beside him? it's true he did not tell me when he was msging her. but what's the big deal? how can a rumor start that he's flirting with other girls because of this? he does talks to them on msn, so? i have a hundred male friends on my msn list too. should i be caged and drowned in the sea?

speaking about those 'techniques' are even more ridiculous. those girls say that he used the same technique on them. or maybe it's because they fell for him over it and he didnt like them that's why they turn the tables on him and say it's a technique now? hahhh. all he was trying to do was adjusting himself to the social world, where people are not as reserved about their lives and could talk about their past rls. he just wanted to be more open and have conversations about it with others. and so what if they are girls? how can u expect a guy to confide in another guy about his sad past? maybe all he is guilty of, is his lack of social awareness and the natural way of interaction with people. notice, the fact is all the people that spread those rumors are girls.

to say that i left aidan for him is also ridiculous. if you're my close fren you will know it's untrue. we had our own problems. and it's true that now i prefer not regretting and just leading my own life from now on. be it a good or bad decision.

that's more or less that. people, be kind with your words. don't be like that bitch.

updated at 9:51 PM.