Me.heart.U

Thursday, September 20, 2007

my life - at beginning of 20.

i don't like life anymore.

im listless, tired out easily, can't sleep at nights, thoughts in my head is a ratio of 100:1 to the actual words spoken per day.
and i don't like to linger for small talks anymore.
hi-s and bye-s only for the sake of trying to keep an old part of me.
the ceejay-avee period part of me.
when what made me happy was walking though school and saying hi-s every corner we turn.
okay, not every corner.
basically just having fun with (and making fun of) people, breaking all ice with new acquaintances with that 'everyone is my fren' attitude.
that was undeniably fun.
but i think it derailed me from focusing on studies.
u can hardly catch me smiling jubilantly anymore.
a perpetual veil of sian-ness/sadness over me.
on the other hand,
i've changed (subconciously) to be someone who tries to decide my own happiness.
cause noone else is going to make it happen.
i planned my own birthday celebrations.
i plan many other things,
cause im tired of taking the backseat and waiting for someone to do everything.
and im the centre of my own life.
not anyone else anymore.

im at a "take whatever that comes" phase of my life currently.
no stress.

updated at 10:37 PM.