Thursday, April 05, 2007
my toes. ):
my toes' beds are bruised. yucks! i don't want my nails to drop off..nooo...... it's throbbing now like a hammer just hit it. after, like 5 days??? please grow nail...be strong for me...
sometimes i just don't know what i want...
i know it's irritating.
i know i know.
but i seem to always be having a battle in my mind.
when i feel that one side is winning...
the other side will jump in and there's never an end.
i'm losing trust with my rationality.
but i never want to be irrational.
i just miss having someone who'll always be here for me.
sometimes i just want a big hug.
but noone has told me,
'it's going to be alright girl.'
for a long, long time.
i know it's irritating.
i know i know.
but i seem to always be having a battle in my mind.
when i feel that one side is winning...
the other side will jump in and there's never an end.
i'm losing trust with my rationality.
but i never want to be irrational.
i just miss having someone who'll always be here for me.
sometimes i just want a big hug.
but noone has told me,
'it's going to be alright girl.'
for a long, long time.
this morning, i experienced something very unusual. but i can't find anyone i can relate my experience to. all i can say is, i went back to sleep after the alarm went off, and snoozed for 20 more min. but in that short span of time, i actually dreamt of something that made me wake up sobbing. and i had to take a few moments to differentiate between my dream and reality. i never knew i was so afraid of losing someone. and that the everyday details in life actually made me tear.
then when i walked out, i saw a bird hanging upside down under the edge of a roof tile. i was thinking, do birds like doing that?? then another bird bent down from the top of another tile and peeped down. but it couldnt find that bird, cause all the tiles are separated. then i realised, they're playing hide and seek. hah hah. but after a longer while, i thought, why is my first impression so angelic? maybe the other bird did something bad like stealing the other bird's worm, that's why the bird is hiding. right?
econ just sucks...but i won't give up..cause, if i don't know what the f*** that guy is talking about. 70% won't know too. hahh.
mr bean holidays completed my day. it's funny. helps me relax a lil'. what a day.
updated at 10:03 PM.
